The only girl

May 13, 2013

I have five brothers and I am the only girl. It is part of my identity. I have three older brothers and two younger brothers. I bossed them all when we were younger, and now they have wives to do it for me. Their wives are way better at it than I ever was.

Basketball loving, hoodie wearing 8th grader.

Growing up I was very competitive. I say was. I don’t think I am competitive now, but I that might not be true. I was always trying to out-do my brothers, or at least do things just as good as they could. Due to this competitiveness I have developed some interesting skills. One, I can eat a lot, and I can eat it fast. Eating was an unspoken competition. There were never leftovers and if you didn’t claim your food, you were going to miss out. The brother just older than me, Clifton, was always hungry. He is 6’3” and has the body of an NFL linebacker, so I can’t blame the man for his insane appetite, but he was the main competition. And, he was not a picky eater. “Lean Body Mass,” he would yell over dinner in an effort to get a larger portion. “Lean Body Mass Ratio,” I would yell back, stuffing food into my mouth as fast as I could.

Ricci, John, Me, Clifton, Bryant, Winslow

My second oldest brother, Bryant, was a brainiac. He was Valedictorian and got a full-ride to college in Texas. Full-ride enough that he was putting money in his pocket going to school. He was also a really nice guy. I tried to be as smart as he was, and I competed by GPA. I graduated high school with a somewhere around a 4.3 GPA, but I was not Valedictorian, nor was I Salutatorian, I was thirdatorian. I was however, Grants High School Student Body President, and was nominated as the Student of the Year by the staff. I win at high school, Bryant. You hear that? (Bryant is now Dr. McNeill of the Airforce. I’m pretty sure he’s winning at life).

Then there was the brother just younger than me, John. He will always be one of my favorite people on the planet. He is so cool. There is nerd, and there is cool. I will always be a nerd trying to be cool, and John is just cool. He can talk to anyone, and be best friends with them after 30 minutes, having validated their life choices and caused them reflection on how to be a better person. John is also a natural athlete. So, I tried. I played all the sports he played: soccer, basketball, and we ran track together. I did not however, do track, soccer, and marching band all at the same time. John rocked fall sports season. John was always better at me in sports. He was faster, bigger, more coordinated. It didn’t stop me from trying. I was also his biggest cheerleader. No-one was yelling louder than me for my little bro.

Ricci, John, Me, Clifton, Bryant, Winslow

Then there were the opposite ends of the spectrum, Winslow, the oldest, and Richard aka Ricci, down there as the youngest. I didn't try to compete with them. I did try to boss them. It worked out OK with Ricci, but Winslow wouldn't have it. He would throw my cats on the roof.

My brothers had to get their Eagle Scout badges before they could drive. This created an interesting area of competition. I am, after-all, a girl. So, I worked at a local Boy Scout Camp when I was 16. I worked at the pool, teaching swim lessons and life guarding. A couple of years later, I did a 21 day backpacking trek (Rayado) at Philmont, which is a National Boy Scout Camp in New Mexico. Then, I worked at Philmont as a ranger, taking Boy Scout troops on their own crew treks and teaching No Trace Camping, map and compass skills, and crew leadership. A couple of summers later, I worked at Philmont again in logistics. I had more days off for hiking. I like to think I out Boy Scouted them all.

At my wedding.

I never wanted to be a boy. I just wanted to be a girl that everyone knew could do anything a boy could do. "Anything you can do, I can do better." The thing with competing is winning is never enough. There is always another platform for competition. There is always someone faster, smarter. Somewhere in college, I realized I needed stop competing. It was leading me to a life of comparing, which is a miserable existence.

So..in the spirit of non-competitiveness; I’ve grown four humans inside my body. Bring it boys.