The Scampering Horse

Once upon a time, I went to Hidden Springs Writers Retreat. First, I called it Hidden Valley Writers Retreat and was corrected after I'd already gathered the cucumbers for dipping. Despite my inability to remember the geographical phenomenon that was hidden, I went. Jenni Moore ensured my safe arrival. The Bear Lake Monsters During the day we had classes, panels, fantastic food, and quiet time. Here's the thing about me and quiet time. First, my headphones don't work on my devices. My phone fell out of my pocket and sort of got run over and is now just is stupid and will only charge with one special charging cable and headphones and Bluetooth don't work. I have one other device. It also doesn't do the headphones thing. My chromebook had an accident with a set of headphones and the little thingy that plugs into the headphone jack is now imperative to the structure of my laptop device. At home, these malfunctions are of no consequence. I can turn

My most read posts are about depression. Isn't that interesting? Why is that? I think it's because we need to talk about mental health. We need to know we aren't alone in our brain illnesses. Either we know someone suffering, or we are dealing with it ourselves. It's nice to know that someone gets it, and is dealing with it, and isn't afraid to talk about it. It connects us and helps. So, I am happy to contribute to that conversation because depression is a big part of my life. It's always there in the back of my life, waiting to take over. I've had some crappy depression recently. Financial stresses, political climate and hard conversations,  increased pressure on me to do more work and around the house, and lack of mental health support in my new land, have all contributed to my dip. It's crazy how fast I can go from fine to super duper not fine. I can go from healthy coping techniques to my brain deciding that hopelessness and disappearing from li

We shouldn’t be going to friend’s funerals. Because our friends shouldn’t be dying.  They shouldn’t be sick. They shouldn’t have accidents. We’re too young to be widows and widowers. My husband had a friend from high school die this last week. Her name is Jennifer. I had only met her a couple of times when Ian and I were engaged in Provo. She was studying language pathology, and writing a book with her professor? I am not exactly sure, but she was really bright and very driven.   I had a little premonition that she wished she could have dated Ian. They were super good friends from high school. and she was a really great person and dating is hard. Plus, I could have been imagining it. Probably was. Anyway, she found her heart's home a few years later and promptly had five children. Five brown haired beautiful children, who she took hiking and corralled into church and told them  shhhhh  while she gave them cheerios. Then, she got brain cancer.   I can’t u

I saw a hat at the store with a patch that said "Dog Mom." I really wanted that hat. I thought about wearing it in the pick-up line while I get my kids from school. It would be so cute in the selfies I take with my dog every day.  One day, I will have a hat that says Dog mom, because it is a really fun thing to be. Now I'm about to get controversial. It's a sign of the times. Buckle up for an opinion. People sometimes say that having a puppy is the same as having a child. Those people are wrong unless a) they are really weird dog parents or b) they are terrible human parents. This one is on Etsy. I love dog people. They are good, decent people. I am one of you. I love my dog. I take my dog with me places. I get told that my dog does not belong in places because of her innate doggness. It's a prejudice within society. I get allergies. Don't touch the dog if you are allergic. But she's not hurting you if she's standing quietly by my side on a le

In  a couple of paragraphs, I am going to talk about my children't current teeth situations. But first, I am going to tell you about my favorite podcast. I listen to a podcast that I love called My Favorite Murder. It says the f word many times, so don't listen if that bothers you.  If you are into true crime, and funny ladies and clever banter, and don't mind the f word so much? This is a podcast for you! At the end of every podcast we are told to stay sexy and don't get murdered, and the cat Elvis meows wildly for a cookie. One of the stories they told was about a couple who had an affair, left their families, and went to the Gallapagos Island to set up their own homestead. The names are  Dr. Frederick Ritter and Dore Strauch.  The Ritter guy was a doctor,  pulled out his own teeth before leaving to the island so his gums would toughen up. While on the island, his woman's teeth rotted out of her head and they pulled them with gardening tools. Together, they s

Dear Charles, First of all, Happy Freaking Birthday. Sorry I had forgotten your birthday for so many years, but I remembered today. I'll always remember now. Isn't that how it is sometimes? We learn lessons a little late. But, I know you forgive me. There are a few things I wanted to tell you. The kids are all back in school. Kaylee is really excited about earning tokens this year as part of her teacher's behavior reinforcement program. She is saving them until she gets 16 and then she is going to get something really good. Today she avoided washing her hair. Somehow she got in and out of the tub and I didn't get her hair washed. Julie is auditioning for a play next week. Tess just got a new pair of shoes and she is wearing a size 8 now, and she's going to try to get on her school's robotics team. I hope she makes it. She's not sure because she really wants to do photography club, which will also be on Thursday afternoons. That would be great a well, b

Do you ever have that thing where you are commenting on Facebook or sending someone a message and you mean to write a comment, but somehow, you accidentally put up a GIF, and then you can't figure out how to take that thing down? It's just there. It makes no sense in context of the conversation. But there it lingers, with its horrifying visual stench, and people are probably judging you, even through we know everyone GIF's every now and then. Well, sometimes I have equally ridiculous ideas but nobody sees them. GIF farts in my brain, so to speak. Today I had one. I was in a YMCA class called "Bodyflow." It's a mix of Thai-chi, Pilates, and yoga. The switch up of movements is great for people who get cranky during workouts. I lose track of the time, and that is fantastic. So, we started making big circles, and then we swept that philosophical sand with our arms. I am so good at sweeping that sand with my fingertips, legs bending down in a semi-squat pos

Meet Hyrum. In his pocket is a yo-yo. I’ve known him since he was a baby because I’m his aunt. I’m so lucky, because without this special relationship, Hyrum would be too shy to talk to me. Hyrum McNeill is a 14 year old boy: brown hair, hazel eyes, and an aptitude for math and running. His latest science project studied the bacterial growth on cell phones. (Spoiler alert, ewwww! Wash those things!) As much as his teachers loved him, his parents loved him, and I loved him, he struggled with friends at school. As a young boy, he was usually the kid that didn’t have a friend to play with, so he’d read. He also found out yo-yo was a solo sport, and it interested him. He would watch YouTube videos of it. By watching the pro yo-yo players, he learned better tricks. The internet provided a source of procedural research for Hyrum. He is a scientist, after all. He watched the Pro yo-yo players and practiced. His favorite player was Gentry Stein, the 2014 Class 1A World Champion. He’d practic

I feel floaty. Like, I don’t know quite what the thing is that I’m doing right now. It's probably what a jellyfish feels like, but I don't have the poisonous tentacles. That means you don't have to pee on yourself if I touch you. You're welcome. The past two years I was a school teacher, a marathon runner, a mom, and a writer. Those roles filled up my person completely and I quite nearly overflowed. I had to squeeze in time for all of the big roles, as well as take time to take care of myself with lots of counseling, and driving two hours for counseling, and figuring out my medicine for depression. Time consuming. Exhausting. And focused. I was overflowing with purpose. The blisters were concrete evidence. This past school year I knew would be one of big changes. My husband’s job at Cabelas in Sidney, NE was going to change, so I didn’t sign a contract to teach. I thought we would move to Springfield, MO for quite some time. I was going to be neighbors to th

Ian moved to San Antonio a couple of weeks before I did, and he had big dreams of starting a workout routine right when he got here. Well...that didn't happen. There are a lot of good ways to talk yourself out of working out. This is not an exhaustive list, but Ian is pretty good at it, so, if you are about to start working out and you are running out of excuses not to, there are a lot of good ideas here. I don 't know this guy. My use of this image is frowned upon. 1. Can't decide on a place. Take into account price, location, equipment, resources, etc. etc.  2. Can't decide on a time. 3. Don't have a place to wash the smelly post-workout clothes. 4. Inadvertently leave your shoes at home (in Nebraksa), so you don't have them. 5. Once you have a place, and a time, be sure not to know WHAT to do. 6. Feel uncomfortable designing your own workout, and just don't do it for awhile. 7. Get caught up on that one exercise you don't know

Oh, and I took your headphones. A passing thought I share as I move in for a goodbye kiss. I'm off to Utah. Tra-la-la. But, the tra-la-la didn't happen. YOU WHAT? Ian's beautiful face recoiled, turning the goodbye kiss turned into a not kiss. The beautiful face became distorted into a face that looked like it was eating spring salad mix. I try to explain my choice, confused about why I need to even justify this decision. "Well, you broke mine, and I didn't have any, so I'm borrowing yours." I look him in the eye, and he takes a few deep breaths.  "Can you think of another option?" I realize my logic is flawless, here, but somehow, I'm still not in the right. I can tell because salad face is still there. Ian is walking backwards from me. "But they are new, and for the computer." I smell something. I think it's desperation. "They're for the computer? But I see you walking all around the house with them hooked up t