Hair-bows and healing



I love to create something beautiful.  It gives me the greatest satisfaction in life.
When I was first battling depression in college, I wrote poetry, stories, and essays.  I didn’t know I had depression, so I didn’t know I was healing myself.  I wrote about my roommates, about my lost love, about  running, about Marge Simpson.  Beauty can be found everywhere.

The greatest paradox is post-partum depression. Beauty and depression.  I have just created the most beautiful thing a person can create, another little person; and, yet the sinking feeling of worthlessness and overwhelming inadequacy to the task accompanies the beauty. So strange.  It feels so unnatural.
Can I tell you what I did after my first baby?  Before I knew that beauty healed me?

I made hair bows.
Isn’t that so simple?

My sister-in-law and dear friend Audrey lived an hour away from me in El Paso while her husband was doing his medical residency, so we were both alone-ish.  We became friends and she taught me to make hairbows for my sweet baby girl.  We would make them for hours, and watch movies.  They started off so simple, just a ribbon looped twice, secured with string, and hot glued to a barrette.  They have become more elaborate over time.

My baby girl with her bows.
Hairbows.  So simple.  So healing.

 Now I find little things. It is maybe the reason I like to water the flowers, it is my part of the creating process.  I water them, and God lets them grow.  That divinity within them since they were seeds can take root, take light, and become beautiful.


Comments

  1. Sean and JennieMay 18, 2013 at 7:23 PM

    I love the way you write! I want to make hair bows, perhaps I can learn from your ability to make beautiful things=)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Karen HMay 18, 2013 at 8:00 PM

    I totally get this. Working with my hands to create something tangible is such good therapy for me, too. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnnieMay 19, 2013 at 12:02 PM

    This is really lovely! Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete

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