Dear Charles

Dear Charles,

First of all, Happy Freaking Birthday. Sorry I had forgotten your birthday for so many years, but I remembered today. I'll always remember now. Isn't that how it is sometimes? We learn lessons a little late. But, I know you forgive me.

There are a few things I wanted to tell you. The kids are all back in school. Kaylee is really excited about earning tokens this year as part of her teacher's behavior reinforcement program. She is saving them until she gets 16 and then she is going to get something really good. Today she avoided washing her hair. Somehow she got in and out of the tub and I didn't get her hair washed. Julie is auditioning for a play next week. Tess just got a new pair of shoes and she is wearing a size 8 now, and she's going to try to get on her school's robotics team. I hope she makes it. She's not sure because she really wants to do photography club, which will also be on Thursday afternoons. That would be great a well, but gosh, I want my girls to do science. Seth had a really good week. He only pinched one boy. He's never pinched before. He said he wanted to try it out, and now that he has he won't be pinching anymore.

I got a puppy! You would love her. Her name is Theodosia, and we call her Thea. She's a husky. Her eyes are brilliant blue and she's chewing on everything and excited about all the things in the whole world. When she's resting I love to stick my face in her fur and feel her breath. Sometimes if she's been playing outside I smell the grass and dust and I sneeze. She cried and cried her first night in the kennel, but she didn't cry after that.

We've been missing you. I'm sure you remember it all, but you decided to go on hospice care a few months back, and we all came to be with you for your last few days. I watched the men carry you into your hospital bed. Their muscles bugled as you tucked your elbows in so they didn't bonk on the doorways. We ate and laughed, and the kids played. Beth and Brandon came with their cute little dogs. Miriam and Spencer were in and out with their adorable blond babies. Jeananne was by your side, kissing you and hugging you. We would rotate through your bedroom. I spent hours holding your hand and we smiled at each other. We had precious, "I love you's." Every time you opened your eyes, you were surprised to wake up. And you'd ask for Ian. You hung on as much as you could until Ian came, and you could tell him you loved him. Then you spent a day sleeping. Your skin kept losing it's elasticity, and yellowing as you went without dialysis. You ate a bite of pizza with cheese on it, which was your dream since you had a milk allergy for so many years. And then the sun was coming up and you wanted to see the sky, and you took your last breaths. I was there as you went through the same door on a stretcher, covered in a black velvet cloth, a rose across your chest. You weren't hurting anymore.

I just want you to know we are thinking of you. I miss you.

Love,
Evelyn