Ode to the traveling husband
My husband is a public accountant and works in auditing. These are a lot of words. Don't look too far into it. It basically means he travels. He travels to little towns all over the state and audits utility companies and governments and banks and pension plans. So, he has this "government season." He works more than normal, and travels more than normal. Government season he gets to go on these exotic mini-vacations to places like Farmington, New Mexico and I am here.
It is government season right now, and for the next few months. He tells me he works a lot. Maybe 12 hour days. Works all day at the client site, and then he works again in his motel room. He eats out for every meal. Part of me knows that this isn't fun. Part of me knows that he can't hear the giggles of his children and eat a home cooked meal. But there is this other part that can't help feeling like the man is on vacation.
It is in the morning, before school starts and I am trying to pack lunches and get the kids dressed. It is nice when there is another grown-up in the house to get the ball rolling. Then again around dinner time when I am enforcing consequences for not doing homework, and trying to get the dinner only I will eat on the table. I am the only one eating because my lovely children are saying things like,"This is gross." "I don't like this." "I want cheese." "I hate the smell." The baby is throwing his food all over the floor. I'm trying to ignore them while we eat dinner as a family. The kids aren't wanting to take a bite. This is sort of when I feel like a motel room and a lap-top in front of me seems luxurious. So quiet. So peaceful.
But, then there are the moments when we all go to the elementary school to pick weeds for our family night, and Julie is so excited she has plans to pick weeds during recess, and Tess is riding a scooter that is too short for her, and Kaylee and Seth are sitting in the wagon and we are running down the hill and they are screaming because they are happy and they feel like they are going a million miles an hour, their honey-colored hair is being caught in the wind, and I miss him.
He would have taken a great picture of that run down the hill.
I miss you, Ian. I hope you are enjoying your vacation.
It is government season right now, and for the next few months. He tells me he works a lot. Maybe 12 hour days. Works all day at the client site, and then he works again in his motel room. He eats out for every meal. Part of me knows that this isn't fun. Part of me knows that he can't hear the giggles of his children and eat a home cooked meal. But there is this other part that can't help feeling like the man is on vacation.
It is in the morning, before school starts and I am trying to pack lunches and get the kids dressed. It is nice when there is another grown-up in the house to get the ball rolling. Then again around dinner time when I am enforcing consequences for not doing homework, and trying to get the dinner only I will eat on the table. I am the only one eating because my lovely children are saying things like,"This is gross." "I don't like this." "I want cheese." "I hate the smell." The baby is throwing his food all over the floor. I'm trying to ignore them while we eat dinner as a family. The kids aren't wanting to take a bite. This is sort of when I feel like a motel room and a lap-top in front of me seems luxurious. So quiet. So peaceful.
But, then there are the moments when we all go to the elementary school to pick weeds for our family night, and Julie is so excited she has plans to pick weeds during recess, and Tess is riding a scooter that is too short for her, and Kaylee and Seth are sitting in the wagon and we are running down the hill and they are screaming because they are happy and they feel like they are going a million miles an hour, their honey-colored hair is being caught in the wind, and I miss him.
He would have taken a great picture of that run down the hill.
I miss you, Ian. I hope you are enjoying your vacation.
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As the wife of a military officer, I understand many of the aspects of single parenthood that you pose in your post. I remember weeks and sometimes months of being the only person to dress, clean, cook and corral children. I also remember watching with envy as my husband would pack his bags and head out the door. Adding salt to the wound, many times it was to destinations that were exotic to meet with interesting people on matters that were important. The most exotic important thing I did was take the kids to Burger King for breakfast when I got tired of the extra hassle of pouring a bowl of cereal for them. Because for some reason when your husband leaves dirty dishes seem to grow exponentially with each meal. Only three people were eating but I swear it looked like we’d had a party of ten.
ReplyDeleteYears later, however, once the kids were in high school, I went to work. The excitement of traveling and staying in expensive hotels with better pillows and sheets than I’d ever own in my life was so exciting. That lasted for about the first three trips I took. Then it just got to be monotonous, it was work, it really didn't matter that the hotel was in downtown Chicago and all of Oprah’s guests also stayed there, or dinner on the Queen Mary, or any number of places I'd never see on my own (ok, it mattered a little). But I missed my family terribly, I missed my daughters, I never could get into shopping without wanting to hear their advice. Eating at nice restaurants wasn't all that great either, what was the point if I wasn't sharing it with the people I loved the most. It just took the color out of the whole experience. So, when you are wrestling one of you sweet beautiful girls into her pajamas or cleaning up what appears to be several meals off the floor, remember these are memories your sweetheart is missing out on and while they may not seem like a treasure now, one day they’ll be your most precious gift. And regardless of how brilliant a CPA your husband is, one day you will both realize your greatest accomplishment is being parents to your amazing children.
Thank you. This brought tears to my eyes a bit, so I needed to hear this one today.
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