Caveman and Waffles

I have started a new thing. It is an intense exercise program where someone else tells me what to do and I do the workout with a bunch of people. I find it very similar to personal training, but there are other people to workout with you. Some people call this program "Cross-fit," but I hesitate to tell you that because then you will think I can do a pull-up and that I throw up when I am working out.  I can't do an unmodified pull-up, and I haven't thrown up. I am still me, guys. Relax. It is just kind of a cult. Not a big deal.

Here is something super different about me though. I am changing what I eat.  I have never ever followed a program. Never. At all. Not weight watchers, not calorie counting, not anything. I tried to be vegetarian for a month or two my sophomore year in college, and I got really tired, and quit that. I am being basically the opposite of vegetarian right now. I can't even think about all the cute little animals...can't think about it.

So, I am being Primal. This means I eat what a caveman would eat. Apparently cave-men ate a startling variety of meat, and had flocks of happy hens who laid a million eggs. Cavemen also spent much of their time cracking nuts for consumption, milking their cows, and churning it into butter, and culturing their own Greek yogurt. In between rock etchings, they gardened fruits, and vegetables of many varieties. They were really domestic, and I think they would fit in really well in Santa Fe. They would love the Georgia O'Keeffe Museum, and tell the guards to relax. They aren't going to touch the paintings, they are just going to lean in and look really closely.

Despite the many good qualities of these caveman, I have to tell you,that I am really upset with them for not eating waffles. What kind of lazy, uninspired, joke of a cave-man failed to figure out waffles? They aren't that hard! You have fire! Just do waffles, with some maple syrup. Are you too lazy to tap your own maple syrup? You have time to do feta, just make a freaking waffle.


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