Fake Smile

This is a real smile from someone who doesn't have to fake it.
I started counseling. Just barely started. I am not better yet. I hope I will get better. 
We'll see.
I have homework.
Take a 20 minute walk every day outside with my back straight.
Write or paint 10 minutes every day.
Make a list of 50 things I am grateful for.
Watch comedies so I can laugh and smile.

This is a fake smile from someone doing counseling homework.
Has it been 10 minutes yet? Nope. Only 5.
So, I guess I am what they call "severely depressed." Another popular term is "experiencing a depressive episode." I am textbook.
Textbook. 
It makes me annoyed that a book about depression can explain and predict my behaviors so accurately. Isolation, check; lethargy, check; lack of interest in activities, check.
Stupid book.
The good news is, I can still laugh. Even people in the depths of despair can laugh.
I've laughed about a lot of sad things lately.
10 minutes. Done.


Comments

  1. MargotMarch 17, 2015 at 12:22 PM

    So glad you are talking to someone. This helped me so much with my PTSD/sadness. Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Louise PlummerMarch 17, 2015 at 4:56 PM

    Welcome to the depression club! Welcome,welcome. Is it time to go to graduate school?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Louise PlummerMarch 17, 2015 at 5:03 PM

    I can't help myself: Isn't it all right just to be annoyed with all the happy speak for awhile?

    ReplyDelete
  4. EmilyMarch 17, 2015 at 6:51 PM

    Hugs and prayers and best wishes on your therapy work. It really is work. Your fake smile picture is hilarious. You look so pained. Let me know if you ever want to talk depression or treatment or meds or life.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMarch 17, 2015 at 10:21 PM

    Sending you warm thoughts full of hope and love. You are amazing. You don't need to seek any justification for why you feel so bad. You simply do. Accept that you feel craptacular right now. But you won't always. Ride the wave. Breathe. Create.

    ReplyDelete

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