Mom Camping

My younger brother John went by himself to Alaska for 10 days. That is vacation.

I recently went camping in Utah with my husband and four children. That is a family experience. 

We camped.

So, I am not one of those people that doesn't like camping because they don't like the outdoors. I spent two summers during college backpacking and hiking, and living in a tent in northern New Mexico. I camped with my family when I was a girl, and being outside is like being alive to me. It pains me to say it. Pains me to my core, but the truth is...I don't like camping as a mom.

I know, I feel like Voldemort saying an unforgivable curse. 

I don't like it because it is a lot of work, and I guess I am lazy in my soul. Camping required planning.

Planning and follow-through. My worst qualities. I have to plan meals, buy the food, bring all the stuff to prepare it, then clean it up. Then I have to set up the tent, and then sleep in that dang thing with all of my wiggly little munchkins cuddled around me. I worry if they are warm enough, or if they are going to kick each other as they lay like jenga blocks on the tent floor. I hear every single cry, or cough, or whisper. I hear the sprinkler that hits my tent at 2am. Who makes a camping spot next to a sprinkler anyway? 

The torture dome.

I wake up tired. So, so tired. Then I cook, and clean, and put the sleeping bags away, and figure out the things I forgot to bring like...a can opener or paper towels or something. 

This trip we had cereal without milk. 

The good thing is, that the "sleeping" in a tent part eventually ends and I get to do the living outside part, which is much more fun. This time we were at a lake. We played in sand, I got to canoe for hours, and take a ride on a jet ski, and dig my toes into the sand. We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with chips and string cheese. Food tastes so good out there in the wild. 

That is me in the back, filling the measure of my creation.

And, when I am with my brothers camping, I get to be an aunt. I'm an okay mom. I do okay. I keep my kids alive. I fulfill their immediate needs. I mold their thoughts, ideas, and feelings into something I think will create a compassionate and responsible adult. 

My brother Bryant, his wife Audrey, and my stylish mom in the black hat.

But, I am a freaking awesome aunt. Does that sound braggy? It should. 

Even though camping as a mom is something I don't love, I will keep doing it. Because camping as one of my kids is pretty great. They get to experience the stars against the black sky. The sound of the wind whipping against the tent walls. The feeling of the sand in between their toes in the sleeping bag. They can hear the crickets singing, and feel the four o'clock chill in the morning before the sun breaks past the horizon. And, I love my kids more than I love sleeping.

For two whole nights.

My children.